I am going to be vulnerable today. Yes, you read that right.
Why?
Today’s article is about vulnerability. I believe that the best way to talk about why there is strength in vulnerability is by being vulnerable myself.
A little bit about myself:
I experience a range of emotions at any given point of the day. Sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, and sometimes extreme happiness. One of the ways I process these feelings is by reaching out and expressing how I am feeling.
Do you feel scared to reveal too much about yourself?
When you fracture a body part, do you hide it and feel like you are revealing too much about yourself?
Similarly, emotions are meant to be felt and expressed. If they get too overwhelming to process, talking about it helps in decluttering and feeling lighter.
But, I feel scared to be vulnerable.
That’s understandable. Emotions have been considered taboo for ages. During the stone age, the only way to thrive was by being “strong” and not expressing our feelings. Our emotional brains have been inherited from the stone age. This is why we find it difficult to accept and express our emotions in the first place.
Take baby steps towards being vulnerable. It’s okay to feel scared at first.
What are some ways to be vulnerable?
Feel the feeling- The first step towards being vulnerable is to give yourself the permission to feel. Every emotion exists for a reason. It’s trying to communicate something to you. Sit with your feelings and hear them out. They have a lot to say.
Recognize shame- One of the emotions associated with being vulnerable is a shame. We feel that by being vulnerable, we are being weak. That we are unable to help ourselves. Vulnerability is the exact opposite of that. By being vulnerable, we are saying “I am having difficulty processing a feeling, so I am going to ask for help.”
Build a safe space- Everyone has their own definitions of safe space. For me, a safe space refers to nonjudgemental listening and consistent emotional communication. One way to figure out safe space is by asking ourselves these questions:
How do my close friends make me feel?
Why are they, my close friends?
What are my emotional needs?
Express emotional needs- Reaching out to others is helpful only when we are able to communicate what we need. This helps the other person understand how we are feeling and support us in the way we want. Here is an article on emotional needs.
Be honest- If I am being honest with you, I have trouble regulating my feelings. But, this does not make me weak or any less of a human. By being honest with ourselves and our social circles, we allow ourselves to be kind. Think about the parts of you, which you are scared to show. Then try expressing it in I struggle with/ I feel statements. If you are feeling comfortable enough, try sharing these statements with your safe space.
Professional help- Therapy is one of the best ways to be vulnerable. By speaking to a professional, we can unpack our feelings and understand ourselves better. I have been in therapy for a year, and it has helped me be more kind to myself and process my feelings better.
Forgive yourself- Sometimes we are scared to be vulnerable, because of past experiences. We feel like by sharing our thoughts, we might get labeled as weak or bad. Try forgiving yourself by separating the action from the person. People are not horrible, they just make wrong choices sometimes. By sharing our experiences and heartbreaks, we can finally stop carrying the weight on our shoulders and share it with others.
Remember, there is strength in vulnerability. It helps us strengthen our relationship with ourselves and the people around us. Let’s express our emotions and be kinder to ourselves.