Coping with grief
Dealing with loss and death.
Sixteen-year-old Anshika recently lost her grandfather. Three months in, she experiences a rollercoaster of emotions – happy days and days filled with tears and longing.
What just happened?
The world feels different after losing a loved one. Even months later, a child might experience a rollercoaster of emotions – happy days followed by tears and intense longing. This is completely normal. Grief has no set schedule, and seemingly random things – places, food, sounds, or smells – can trigger memories of the person they lost.
How can we help teenagers navigate grief?
Identifying Grief: Strong emotions can be confusing for children. When a child experiences sudden sadness, anger, or loneliness, help them recognize these feelings as part of grieving their loved one. You can say something like, "It seems like you're feeling sad today. Is it because you're missing Grandpa?"
Labeling and Expressing Emotions: Putting feelings into words is powerful. Encourage the child to express their emotions by saying things like, "I'm feeling sad because I miss Grandpa" or "I'm frustrated because I wish I could have played with Grandma one more time."
Creating Space for Expression: Talking to trusted adults about their loved one can be a great comfort for a child. Journaling, creating art, or playing games that express their feelings can also be helpful. Sharing memories, photos, and music can also keep their loved one's memory alive. Encourage the child to share as much as they want – it can give them hope and energy to move on.
Regulating Overwhelming Emotions: Grief is exhausting. Activities the child once loved – playing sports, drawing, even going to the park – might feel overwhelming. While engaging in these activities can be helpful in the long run, it's okay to take breaks. Deep breathing exercises, spending time in nature, or listening to calming music can be healthy coping mechanisms when grief feels intense.
Crying- Let the child cry as much as they want to. Tears help our mind and body express grief. Remember to help them stay hydrated afterwards – keep a water bottle close.
Helping the Child Forgive Themselves: It's normal for children to have regrets. Maybe they wish they saw their loved one more or said something different. But everyone makes mistakes. Encourage the child to write a letter to their loved one if it helps, and to forgive themselves
By being there for the child and helping them navigate these steps, we can create a supportive environment for them to grieve and eventually heal.