Developing Patience

What and why of patience.

Consider three situations.

1. Rama is standing in a queue. She has been waiting for more than 20 minutes. After 10 minutes she leaves.

2. Pranay is explaining a math sum to their friend. They explain it five times but their friend still does not understand. The sixth time Pranay tries a different method. This time their friend understands.

3. Stuti has a science olympiad coming up. To qualify, she needs to take three tests before it in a span of two months. She keeps studying and stays calm till her results arrive.

   

What if I told you that all the above situations are examples of being patient?

Patience is of three types:

1. The first one is needed with day-to-day events.

2. The second one is Interpersonal patience.

3. The third one is linked to life outcome patience.

What is patience and why should it be developed?

Imagine a child, who does not have the patience to wait. They want everything instantly. If they do not get it they will throw a tantrum and feel angry.

Patience is the ability to stay calm while you're waiting for an outcome that you need or want.

In the current world, where everything is one click away. Patience is a difficult value to keep alive.

What causes impatience?

Patience is a function of priorities. What might not be important to you might be important to a child. It is important to understand what the child priorities before you categorize it as “impatience.”

What does impatience look like?

• Blurting out answers

• Interrupting conversations to share their thoughts

• Try to rush people from what they are doing

How do we develop patience?

1. Be patient - In order to develop it, we need to be patient ourselves. Understand where the child is coming from and what is so urgent for them? When a child is being impatient. Don’t shout at them and label them as “impatient.” Instead, suggest that you both step away until things have cooled down. (An angry child hears no one. You’ll also be modeling how to show patience.)

   

2. Say no- Do not give in to every demand of your child immediately. Encourage them to wait before buying something immediately and think it through.

   

3. Compliment- If a child is being patient acknowledge it. Say, “ I see you waited for dessert. Thank you for being patient.“ or “ I see you helped your friend with their math problem. Thank you for being patient with them.”

   

4. Let them get bored- Let your child spend time with themselves too. If their schedule is always filled with activities, they will be unable to wait and spend time doing nothing.

But, being too patient is not a good trait too.

There is a difference between being patient and being a pushover. For example, if there is a friend who keeps saying that they will call or that will text you. But they never do nor state a reason for it. Is being patient with them going to help?

In such a case, one needs to be assertive and state their boundaries too. Don’t be a pushover.

Remember, it takes a great deal of patience to develop patience in the first place. Thank you for being patient enough to read this article. :D